Khmer Weddings: What to Expect as a foreigner (And why it’s a marathon – not a sprint!)
If you’re staying in Cambodia long enough, chances are you’ll be invited to a wedding – or suddenly find yourself on your way to one with your new Khmer friends without much warning. Khmer weddings are bright, bold, full of tradition, and sometimes… long. Really long. But they’re also an amazing way to experience local culture up close, with generous helpings of food, music, and awkward dancing thrown in for good measure. If you’ve never partied at a Cambodian wedding before, have you really partied?
So, whether you’ve received a gold envelope or just want to understand what’s going on with all the tents in the street outside your hotel, here’s your guide to Cambodian weddings: what to expect, what to wear, how long to stay, and why there might be seven outfit changes before lunch.
Weddings in Cambodia are not as much of a strict and formal event as they are in the west, so it’s entirely possible that you’ll get invited to your tuktuk driver’s cousin’s friend’s (who you’ve never met) wedding! If that happens to you, trust us – you’ll want to say yes!
How Long is a Khmer Wedding, Really?
Once upon a time, traditional Khmer weddings lasted three full days and nights. Yep, 72 hours of ceremonies, food, blessings, and festivities. These days, most weddings are shorter – but don’t expect a quick afternoon affair. A modern wedding still often runs across two days, or at least one very full one. Don’t worry, you won’t be expected to attend the entire thing – unless you’re the bride and groom! (Or close family…)
The length of a wedding in Cambodia depends on a few things, such as the couple’s budget, family traditions, and how much they’re trying to impress the neighbours! However, even “small” weddings might involve hundreds of guests spread out throughout the course of the event.
Typically, unless you’re personally involved in the wedding or you’re close family, your invite will most likely be asking you to attend a one-evening portion of the wedding. At this part, you’ll be able to turn up, have some awesome food, drink many many drinks and just enjoy the party and happy atmosphere.
Khmer weddings are not rigid events, and people often come and go as they please. If people are not able to attend for longer, they’re still likely to attend briefly to wish the betrothed luck for the future, and drop off their (cash) offering – more on that below!
Where Do Cambodian Weddings Take Place?
This one might surprise you! While some (expensive) weddings are held in fancy hotel ballrooms or air-conditioned dedicated wedding halls, many are still hosted right outside the family’s house – literally on the street. You’ll see enormous rented tents with plastic chairs, fairy lights, and speakers cranked up to 11, often blocking off half the road. Families will often ask permission from the local Sangkat to close off a section of road to use for their tent, though out in the countryside these are usually just placed on the families land.
It’s common for neighbours to just deal with the disruption, especially in smaller towns or villages where everyone knows everyone. In the cities, more couples are choosing indoor venues to avoid weather issues (and maybe keep their guests from fainting in the heat). If you ever browse online expat forums or social media groups, you’d probably get the impression that a wedding happening in your neighbourhood is the end of the world due to the noise – but it’s part of the culture and a joyous event that should be celebrated!
The Khmer weddings that are hosted in wedding halls tend to be more expensive. These weddings are usually purchased as a package and the venue can provide catering and service staff to serve the meals and drinks. Once you’ve seen the spread offered at one of these events, you’ll understand exactly why they cost more!
The image below is from an outdoor tented Cambodian wedding in the countryside, so you can see how vibrant and extravagant the tents are! Apologies for the terrible image quality, the photo was taken over a decade ago with a $20 cameraphone!
What to Expect at a Cambodian Wedding
If you’ve been invited to a Khmer wedding and you’re here to prepare yourself, here’s what typically happens – and how to survive it like a pro (If you make it through the night without falling asleep from eating or drinking too much!)
1. The Invitation
You’ll usually receive a colourful paper invite with the couple’s names and the wedding date. It may be handed to you directly or via a mutual friend – the engaged couple are going to be super busy! Don’t worry if you can’t read Khmer as the key info is usually pretty clear, but presumably the person who gave you the invite can tell you when it is. There’s no strict RSVP system to Khmer weddings, just show up if you’re going, and bring some cash (that part is coming soon).
2. What to Wear
This is a big one. Khmer weddings are fashion shows. Women will often wear stunning, brightly coloured traditional dresses with elaborate makeup and hairdos that they’ll spend all afternoon getting done. Men may wear tailored shirts, sometimes silk traditional outfits, or just smart Western style two piece suits. The dress code isn’t strict though, and as long as you make an effort you’ll be fine! Many attendees, especially at countryside weddings, will just be wearing long trousers and a button up shirt, possibly with some jazzy pattern!
As a guest, particularly a foreign one, you won’t be expected to dress in traditional clothes, but you should try to dress up – especially in the evening. We’re talking in the region of semi-formal here so trousers are preferred, but for outdoor countryside weddings where it can get incredibly hot, shorts are an acceptable alternative. Avoid flip flops and sparkly is encouraged!
In reality, nobody is going to judge you if you did turn up in flip flops, and they’ll be happy you attended. However, as a sign of respect you should definitely make an effort.
3. Ceremonies & Rituals
As you probably already know, Cambodia is a buddhist country and depending on what time you arrive and how long you stay, you might see different culturally traditional aspects of the wedding. Some of the things you might encounter are;
Hair Cutting Ceremony (Gaat Sah): Symbolising a fresh start, this part is mostly symbolic now – no one’s actually shaving heads, though a few strands may be taken from the marrying couple’s heads.
Monk Blessing Ceremony: Monks will chant blessings for the couple’s happiness and fertility. This part is a bit less prominent now, though you’ll often see monks present to offer their blessings to the couple.
Knot Tying Ceremony (Sompeas Ptem): Close family and friends will tie red strings around the couple’s wrists for luck and to symbolise the bonding of the two people.
You might not catch all of these if you only arrive for the main meal or party. That’s totally normal – most people don’t attend the whole thing.
4. Food & Drink
The most important thing you need to know about attending Khmer weddings is come hungry. You’ll be served a lot of food – usually a series of shared dishes placed in the centre of your table. There’s usually plenty of meat and seafood dishes, spicy soups, stir-fries, and endless rice dishes. The food at Khmer weddings is unrivalled and you can eat to your hearts content – it’s expected of you! In our opinion, there’s probably no better way to experience Cambodian food than at Cambodian weddings.
Don’t be surprised if the beer is flowing very freely, often with the local version of “cheers!” (choul moy!) shouted every few minutes. If you’re one of the only foreigners at the event, don’t be surprised if you get lots of people coming up to you wanting to cheers their drink with you! They love to get you involved and make sure you’re having fun, so do your best to pace yourself – if possible!
At a wedding there will usually be plenty of (warm!) beers placed on the table along with buckets of ice for you to cool it down in a glass. Khmer weddings with a higher budget will sometimes also have bottles of whiskey on the table for you to help yourself to. There’s also plenty of soft drinks and water available too if you don’t want to drink alcohol.
If it’s a fancier event or at an indoor wedding venue, there might be table service. Otherwise, it’s usually more buffet-style. Just follow the locals’ lead and see what’s going on. Don’t be surprised to see people throwing their empty beer cans under the table! They’ll be scooped up later in the day, sometimes by children who will take them to the recycling centre for some extra Riel.
5. Music & Dancing
Once everyone’s full and a little tipsy, the music kicks off. You can expect loud Khmer pop songs and some very distinctive dance moves – slow, graceful hand gestures while shuffling in a circle. The music choice will be dependant on the couple’s choices but there’s usually an eclectic mix of Khmer electronic music, western dance tracks, traditional Cambodian music and some awesome old fashioned Cambodian love songs.
Yes, you’ll be invited to dance. No, you don’t need to be good at it. Just smile and go with it – it’s all part of the fun!
Do I Need to Bring a Gift?
Here’s the bit we said we’d get to!
In Cambodia, guests are expected to give cash as a wedding gift instead of bringing a toaster that the married couple won’t even need. There’s usually a box near the entrance where you can drop your gift envelope, which will be provided to you at the wedding and is usually on the table waiting for you. This box is usually guarded by an older Cambodian lady who will be keeping track of everything the couple receive! These cash gifts go to the couple to help get them started on married life (and maybe recoup some of the costs of the wedding!).
At Khmer weddings in recent years, you’ll also see QR codes dotted around, as some people will just donate via the KHQR system instead of giving cash. It’s also common for guests to turn up just to offer money to the couple and not stay for the festivities if they’re busy. There’s an unwritten rule that means the more weddings you attend and offer money at – the more guests and money you’ll receive at your own wedding!
How Much Money Should I Give at a Cambodian Wedding?
The amount you would give depends on your relationship to the couple and how fancy the wedding is.
As a very rough general guide:
Acquaintance or co-worker: Around $15 – $20
Friend: $20 – $40
Close friend or family: $50+
You just put the cash in the envelope and drop it in the box – but don’t forget to write your name on it so the couple knows who it’s from!
If the wedding was clearly expensive, or you drank your body weight in beer – it’s common courtesy to make sure you compensate fairly for that! However, there’s no official rules on how much you should give.
A Few Tips for First-Timers
Pace yourself. Khmer weddings can be a marathon. Arrive a bit later if you’re just there for the food and fun. You’ll probably be pressured into eating and drinking more than a human can possibly eat or drink, so be prepared!
Don’t stress about the formalities. Cambodians are very relaxed if you’re foreign and not quite sure what’s going on. Just be respectful and enjoy it, and don’t forget to wish them good luck!
Take photos – but be polite. Ask before taking close-up photos of people in ceremony, especially monks or older guests. But this is pretty good advice for life in general, not just Khmer weddings. You’ll want some photos to remember the event!
Be aware of the heat. Outdoor weddings can be hot. If you’re attending an outdoor wedding you may want to bring water in case the table waters aren’t out when you arrive and you’ll definitely want to make sure you’re dressed for the weather (without being underdressed).
You can leave early. Unless you’re family or part of the wedding party, it’s fine to leave after a couple of hours. It’s not considered rude and people are probably too busy having fun to notice anyway!
Khmer Weddings Are a Wild Ride (In the Best Way)
Whether it’s a two day extravaganza in a hotel or a backyard bash under a tent in the countryside, Khmer weddings are a completely unforgettable event. They’re loud, joyful, colourful, and filled with tradition – and even if you don’t understand every part, you’ll leave full, a little sweaty, and probably with glitter in your shoes. After your first Cambodian wedding, you’ll probably be asking your Khmer friends to let you know when the next one is happening!
So if you’re lucky enough to get invited – Just go! However, it’s probably best not to plan anything too ambitious the next morning.
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